Starlink isn’t some glorious leap for mankind — it’s Elon Musk’s latest vanity project, wrapped in tech-utopian bullshit and launched straight into low Earth orbit. The sales pitch? High-speed internet for rural and remote areas. The reality? A space-clogging, astronomer-infuriating mess controlled by one of the most impulsive billionaires on the planet.
Orbiting Chaos
Thousands of satellites shot into orbit like he’s playing real-life Space Invaders. The night sky is turning into a blinking billboard for Musk’s ego, while scientists and sky-watchers are left squinting through the noise. And safety? Please. The growing cloud of space junk from Starlink and similar projects is a collision waiting to happen. One domino falls — hello orbital chaos.
One Man, One Remote
Let’s not forget: this is private infrastructure. Global internet run by a guy who tweets half-baked ideas at 3 a.m. We’ve already seen him switch Starlink access on and off in war zones based on his personal mood. That’s not progress — that’s power games dressed up as innovation. It’s not “open internet for all” — it’s “global leash with a shiny antenna.”
Convenience with a Catch
Sure, you get better internet speeds if you’re living in the middle of nowhere — congrats. But you’re also plugging yourself into a network where one man has the remote. And judging by his track record, he’s not the guy you want holding the keys to your connection.
